One of the ideas I want my children to grow up understanding is something that has become increasingly important to me in my own life: to be of service to others.

Those words can sound like they require something big. We might think about volunteering for an organization, donating money, organizing a project, or helping during an emergency.

All of those things can certainly be service.

But I do not think service has to begin with something big.

For children especially, I think it can begin with something much simpler. Notice another person. Pay attention. Help when you can. Share what you have. Include someone. Say thank you. Do something kind even when nobody is giving you a reward for doing it.

Those small moments may be some of the earliest ways children begin to understand that they are part of a world that includes people beyond themselves.

Kindness Is Something Children Can Practice

It is easy to tell children to be kind.

I have certainly said it myself.

“Be nice.”

“Share with your brother.”

“Help your sister.”

“Say thank you.”

But I have started thinking that kindness becomes much more meaningful when children have opportunities to actually practice it.

A child can help carry something.

They can make room for someone else.

They can help clean up a mess they did not make.

They can draw a picture for someone who might need cheering up.

They can notice when another child is standing alone and invite that child to play.

None of these actions requires money, and none of them needs to become a major event.

They simply teach children to look beyond themselves.

Service Is Not Only About Giving Money

Because I care deeply about teaching children financial literacy, I think generosity and money are important topics. Eventually, children can learn that one choice we have with money is to give some of it away.

But I do not want my children to grow up believing that generosity belongs only to people who have money to donate.

We can give time.

We can give attention.

We can give effort.

We can share a skill.

We can listen.

We can help.

Sometimes what another person needs most has nothing to do with money.

I think this distinction is especially important for children because every child has the ability to contribute something.

A child does not need to wait until adulthood to matter to a community.

Children Learn From What They See

Like so many things in parenting, I suspect children learn much more from what we do than from what we tell them.

They notice how we speak to people.

They notice whether we say thank you.

They notice how we treat someone who is helping us.

They notice whether we are patient when something goes wrong.

They notice whether we stop to help someone when helping is inconvenient.

I am certainly not perfect at any of this. Motherhood gives me plenty of opportunities to realize that the example I want to set and the way I behave on a difficult day are not always exactly the same.

But perhaps that is part of the lesson too.

Being kind does not require perfection.

It requires practice.

And adults need that practice just as much as children do.

Helping Without Expecting Something Back

Children naturally understand rewards.

Finish something and receive a sticker. Do a job and perhaps earn some money. Behave well and get a privilege.

Rewards can be useful, but I also want my children to experience the feeling of doing something good when there is nothing waiting for them at the end.

Not every kind act needs a prize.

Sometimes the reward is simply knowing that we made something a little easier for another person.

That can be difficult to explain in words to a young child, but it becomes easier to understand through experience.

Help someone carry something.

Pick something up because it needs to be picked up.

Hold a door.

Make a card for someone.

Give away something useful that we no longer need.

Do something thoughtful without asking, “What do I get?”

These are small experiences, but they introduce a very big idea.

Service Can Begin at Home

Sometimes we imagine service as something that happens somewhere else.

I think it can begin in the place where children spend most of their time.

Home.

Helping a sibling is service.

Helping put something away is service.

Noticing that someone needs help and offering it before being asked is service.

Learning to contribute to family life helps children understand that a family is not simply a group of people who do things for them. It is a group of people who also do things for one another.

That does not mean turning childhood into a list of chores.

It means allowing children to experience what it feels like to contribute.

There is pride in being useful.

I see it when a young child insists on carrying something, helping prepare food, putting something where it belongs, or completing a task that would have been much faster for an adult to do alone.

Sometimes allowing children to help takes more patience than simply doing it ourselves.

But the lesson may be worth the extra time.

Our Communities Give Us Opportunities to Help

As children grow, their world gets bigger.

Home becomes school. School becomes a neighborhood. Eventually they begin to understand that they are part of a community filled with people they may never personally know.

There are countless ways communities care for one another.

People volunteer.

Neighbors check on neighbors.

Families donate things they no longer need.

Someone brings food to a person going through a difficult time.

People help rebuild, clean, organize, teach, coach, comfort, and show up.

Children can see that communities become stronger when people are willing to contribute.

I think that is an important lesson because it changes the question from “What can I get from my community?” to “How can I be part of my community?”

Both questions matter.

But I hope my children learn to ask the second one too.

Kindness Does Not Need an Audience

There is another part of service that I hope my children eventually understand.

We do not have to tell everyone when we do something kind, but that does not mean kindness always needs to be private. I know that seeing other people help, give, and serve has inspired me to do the same, and sometimes sharing an act of kindness can encourage someone else to think, “Maybe I can do something too.”

There can be wonderful reasons to share acts of service. A story can inspire someone else to help. It can bring attention to an important need or encourage a community to participate.

But there should also be room for kindness that nobody sees.

Help because someone needs help.

Give because you want to give.

Do the right thing because it is the right thing to do.

I think there is something beautiful about teaching children that not every good action needs recognition.

The Kind of People I Hope My Children Become

Like every parent, I have hopes for my children.

I hope they become independent. I hope they are curious. I hope they learn how to make thoughtful decisions and manage money responsibly. I hope they find work that gives them purpose and build lives that make them happy.

But I also hope they notice people.

I hope they understand that success is not only about what they accomplish or accumulate.

I hope they know that whatever skills, resources, time, or opportunities they eventually have can also be used to make life a little better for someone else.

We do not have to wait until we have a lot to begin giving.

We do not have to wait until we are adults to begin helping.

And we do not have to change the entire world for an act of service to matter.

Sometimes it begins with one person noticing another person and deciding to help.

That is a lesson I hope my children carry with them wherever life takes them.

With love and a heart of service,

Claudia Backus, MBA
Founder, Backus BrightBots